It seems like everywhere I look today, people are weighing in on Silda Wall Spitzer's decision to stand by her husband while he apologized for soliciting prostitutes. The debates are all over the place, with some people saying she should have punched him in the face, while others, including everyone's favorite, Dr. Laura, say that it is Silda's fault her husband solicited hookers (because she didn't make him feel like enough of a man).
The real issue here, I think, is not that Silda stood by her husband while he apologized for his infidelity. That is her private decision, and he is a politician for crying out loud, so I am sure that factored into her decision. The real issue here is that everyone thinks they can pass judgment on Silda Wall Spitzer's actions. All of a sudden, the media are focusing their attention on HER instead of on her whore-loving husband. If people feel the need to get all uppity and judge someone, why not make it him? Why are her actions even being debated in the first place?
I think that it boils down to the fact that she is a woman, and somehow there are lots of people out there who think that they have the right to judge a woman's actions, especially when it comes to a domestic situation like a marriage. Can you imagine how the media would behave had a female politician been the one soliciting hookers? I am willing to bet that the focus would not be on her husband.
The Daily Show's own fabulous Samantha Bee gave her take on this issue last night:
Interesting how much funnier it is for everyone to see the tables turned, as if they can't imagine a woman being with prostitutes, or that her husband (dressed like a woman, of course) would stand by her if that were the case. Oh, double standards, what would we do without you?
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2 comments:
I wouldn't rely on sensationalistic second-hand accounts. Did you actually see the video? The whole video? Did you watch and listen carefully? Dr. Laura was not excusing Spitzer, who is probably a malignant narcissist.
She was talking about "in general" - Dr. Laura says that ***IF*** you choose a GOOD man ***AND*** you treat him right, he will not stray. Nowhere does she excuse men for their decisions to commit adultery. However, she recognizes that if a wife isn't living by her marital vows (which are more than just "forsaking all others"), THEN a man is more likely not to live by his, either.
You don't have to like her or agree with her, but is it a good idea to spread false witness?
Ken,
Thanks for your response. While I have to admit that I did only watch a clip from the Today Show interview with Dr. Laura, I still have to say that I don't think it is fair to put the blame on Silda Wall Spitzer, especially when we don't have the facts of the relationship (because it's personal, and not the public's business).
When Dr. Laura said that women should be making "their men" feel like heroes, I have to admit that my stomach turned a little bit. But when she said that if one person in a marriage is starved in some way that they will seek gratification elsewhere, I have to say I agree. What is problematic in this case, however, is that we have no way of knowing what the situation between Silda Wall Spitzer and Elliott Spitzer is, and yet somehow it's still okay to put the focus on the woman in the situation and examine what it is she might have done wrong.
To me, it indicates that as a public we still feel it's alright to judge and scrutinize women's behavior in a way that we do not when it comes to the behavior of men, and that is the real issue here, not Spitzer's infidelity.
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